Do you know how much Jesus loves you? Do you really? I don’t think anybody can comprehend fully how much He loves us.
Ponder with me for a minute. Shame is a primary obstacle to our relationship with God. Guilt is different from shame. Guilt says I DID something wrong. Shame says I AM wrong. Shame leads to hopelessness. Shame is a deep feeling of contamination, uncleanness and yuckiness. Shame causes you to feel like you don’t belong; like you’re not supposed to be here. A feeling that you have to work twice as hard to get ½ as much accomplished. Shame makes you feel like a caterpillar in a butterfly world.
Shame comes when the important people in our lives curse our identity. This brings on a fear of abandonment, of being all alone, and of not being taken care of. Shame comes whenever you have been held accountable and have been made to feel wrong for things beyond your control. Shame is what Adam and Eve experienced in the Garden of Eden when they believed the lie of satan. He told them that God cared nothing for them, and they believed the lie. Mankind has been running from God ever since and hiding behind the fig leaves of hypocritical masks and false pretenses.
We all suffer the effects of shame to some degree, some more than others. When you grow up in a shame-based family (which we all have to some degree), the following unspoken rules are in effect:
1. Always remain in control of all behavior, feelings and circumstances.
2. Always be right and do it right. Never make a mistake.
Perfectionism rules the family, and there is no room for a learning process.
Nothing can be tainted, spoiled, flawed or outside the plan.
3. When rules #1 and #2 fail, and things get out of control, get angry and BLAME
someone (others, God or yourself).
Children are held responsible for the parent’s anger.
4. Deny everyone in the family 5 basic human experiences. It is wrong to:
• FEEL. (It is wrong to feel sad, lonely, fearful, etc.)
• PERCEIVE. (What parents say is right... period!)
• NEED. (Always be self-sufficient. Don’t bother anyone with a need.)
• BELIEVE. (Parents, or other important people, tell you “truth.”)
IMAGINE. (You have no right to imagine anything. A lifestyle of stuffing and denial of every “wrong” experience deep inside is established.
5. Always maintain secrecy regarding anything wrong.
6. Never acknowledge a mistake or make yourself vulnerable to anyone.
7. Don’t trust anyone. Relationships are erratic and unreliable.
Have you been shamed? There are two basic manifestations of a shame-based identity: a feeling of worthlessness, or a need to be independent and self-sufficient.
Worthlessness is manifested in the following ways:
ü Anger when circumstances seem to be out of control.
ü Fear of emotion. Fear of experiencing feeling, or getting out of control.
ü Difficulty saying “NO” to people.
ü Fear of failing. Fear of trying new things.
ü Frequent depression.
ü Compulsive sin or addictive habit.
ü Need to succeed in order to be accepted.
Self-sufficiency is manifested in the following ways:
ü Isolation and difficulty making close friends.
ü Avoidance of getting into a position of need or dependence.
ü Great difficulty in asking for a favor or help.
ü Being a much better “giver” than “receiver.”
ü Being fearful or uncomfortable being part of a small group without being the leader to control the group or withdrawing and not participating at all.
ü Feeling tolerated rather than chosen.
ü Having been the recipient of a gift, feeling the need to repay.
Do you remember the song that goes like this: “When a man loves a woman, she can do no wrong. Turn his back on his best friend if he puts her down?” When you are in love, you never see the faults of your beloved. She is the most beautiful, wonderful, blessed thing in the universe. Don’t you remember what it was like to be in love?
Beloved, as a child of God, you are the BRIDE of Christ. He is crazy in love with you. He only has eyes for you. He loves you so much he laid down His life for you. But you don’t believe that, do you? If you did, the realization of such fantastic love would transform your life and turn you into a butterfly instead of a worm. You have believed the lie of the devil and you’re crawling around in the dust of shame trying to keep from getting stomped. How’s that working for you?
Don’t you think it’s time to start believing the TRUTH? What do have to lose except your shame. Feel the exhilaration of your soul as you listen to the TRUTH:
Hebrews 13:5 AMP--- For He [God] Himself has said, I will not in any way fail you nor give you up nor leave you without support. [I will] not,[I will] not, [I will] not in any degree leave you helpless nor forsake nor let [you] down ( relax My hold on you)! [Assuredly not!]
Jeremiah31:3 MSG--- GOD told them, "I've never quit loving you and never will.
Expect love, love, and more love!
He’s talking about YOU, you know. Can you think of anything more frustrating than to love someone with all your heart, and they just won’t let you love them? It’s true. You can only be loved as much as you allow someone love you, no matter how much they love you.
He’s waiting to love YOU, Beloved. What are you waiting on?
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
Wednesday Bible Study Returns
On Wednesday, November 4th, we will have Bible Study in the sanctuary from 6:30 to 7:30 pm like we used to have it. A lot of people have not CONNECTED with a small group yet. So many people are missing the blessing of being a part of a GRACE Group. I will continue to help you get CONNECTED. Call me anytime and let me help you find your group.
Supper time at the church is later now... from 5:30 to 6:30 pm.
We will be studying Romans 5 thru 8. PLEASE BRING YOUR OWN BIBLE. There will be no notes. Bring your Bible and a pen to write notes in your own Bible. See you on the 4th.
Supper time at the church is later now... from 5:30 to 6:30 pm.
We will be studying Romans 5 thru 8. PLEASE BRING YOUR OWN BIBLE. There will be no notes. Bring your Bible and a pen to write notes in your own Bible. See you on the 4th.
The Graceline
I performed a wedding ceremony this past Saturday at the same time my Clemson Football Tigers were playing the Miami Hurricanes. Of all the blessings Papa has given us in this technological age, TiVo has to be the best of them all. I recorded the game and planned to sit down and watch it after the wedding. My daughter, Kia, called me right before the ceremony began and asked if I was watching the game. I said, “No! I’m at a wedding and don’t tell me anything about it. I’m TiVo-ing it. I don’t want to know the score!”
“It’s really exciting!” she said.
“Thanks, Kia. I appreciate that,” I responded sarcastically.
We arrived home later that evening. We usually leave the TV on to keep Gracie company. As I take my coat off and head to the closet, I hear a sports announcer say: “What a game down in Miami this afternoon! Clemson pulls it out in overtime, 40 to 37!”
My heart sank. Watching a sports event after you know the score is a little bit like kissing your sister… not very exciting. Nevertheless, Wanda and I decided to watch it anyway just to see how them mighty Tigers survived the hurricanes down in Miami. Via the blessing of TiVo, we ran thru the commercials and the time between downs. We would watch the play and then fast forward to the next. It was great.
In the overtime, Miami got the ball first and kicked a field goal. Miami 37, Clemson 34. Clemson’s first two plays net them a yard loss, and it was third down and eleven on the twenty-six yard line. I looked at Wanda and said, “If I didn’t know we had already won, I’d be a little bit nervous right now.”
In this exciting game, there were like eight ties and/or lead changes. It was back and forth. You know, kinda like life. Sometimes you’re ahead, and sometimes you’re behind. Sometimes the breaks go your way, and sometimes they go against you.
In the game of life, I’d be a little bit nervous, too, if I didn’t know that because of Jesus we had already won the game. Jesus overcame sin and death on the cross and rose from the grave to assure our final victory. I don’t care what the score is now. The final score will be in favor of those who put their trust and faith in Him.
Sure, there are times when I look at the scoreboard and get discouraged. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever catch up with all the bad breaks and busted plays going against me. That’s when I remind myself that the victory is already won. When it’s all said and done, we will stand with Jesus in His victory. He will wipe away every tear and right every wrong. And then as the Clemson Alma Mater says: “Then the Tigers roar will echo o’er the mountain heights.” Or should that be, the Lion of Judah? Either way, we don’t need to get nervous since we already know Who wins the game.
“It’s really exciting!” she said.
“Thanks, Kia. I appreciate that,” I responded sarcastically.
We arrived home later that evening. We usually leave the TV on to keep Gracie company. As I take my coat off and head to the closet, I hear a sports announcer say: “What a game down in Miami this afternoon! Clemson pulls it out in overtime, 40 to 37!”
My heart sank. Watching a sports event after you know the score is a little bit like kissing your sister… not very exciting. Nevertheless, Wanda and I decided to watch it anyway just to see how them mighty Tigers survived the hurricanes down in Miami. Via the blessing of TiVo, we ran thru the commercials and the time between downs. We would watch the play and then fast forward to the next. It was great.
In the overtime, Miami got the ball first and kicked a field goal. Miami 37, Clemson 34. Clemson’s first two plays net them a yard loss, and it was third down and eleven on the twenty-six yard line. I looked at Wanda and said, “If I didn’t know we had already won, I’d be a little bit nervous right now.”
In this exciting game, there were like eight ties and/or lead changes. It was back and forth. You know, kinda like life. Sometimes you’re ahead, and sometimes you’re behind. Sometimes the breaks go your way, and sometimes they go against you.
In the game of life, I’d be a little bit nervous, too, if I didn’t know that because of Jesus we had already won the game. Jesus overcame sin and death on the cross and rose from the grave to assure our final victory. I don’t care what the score is now. The final score will be in favor of those who put their trust and faith in Him.
Sure, there are times when I look at the scoreboard and get discouraged. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever catch up with all the bad breaks and busted plays going against me. That’s when I remind myself that the victory is already won. When it’s all said and done, we will stand with Jesus in His victory. He will wipe away every tear and right every wrong. And then as the Clemson Alma Mater says: “Then the Tigers roar will echo o’er the mountain heights.” Or should that be, the Lion of Judah? Either way, we don’t need to get nervous since we already know Who wins the game.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Parenting GRACE Group
Our final Parenting Class, Loving Our Kids on Purpose, will be held in the sanctuary this Sunday evening, October 18th, from 5 to 7 pm. Mrs. Linda Cripps, a family counselor will be with us to answer specific questions you might have. Don't miss this opportunity even if you have not attended thus far. Please join us.
I know I shouldn't be disappointed, but I am saddened by the lack of response we've had. We have had at most 24 parents and grandparents attend. This is really good stuff. We had quality childcare and we have fed them every week except week one when we had 18 kids.
I really thought we would have 100 people attend this class. The parents who have attended have testified to the benefit of this series. Maybe you didn't know about it. Maybe we did a poor job of advertising. Maybe the time was not conducive. I don't know.
Anyway, I would like to hear from you as to what you would like for us to offer in the way of Discipleship and Bible Study. If we offered more on Parenting, would you be interested? I look forward to hearing from you.
I know I shouldn't be disappointed, but I am saddened by the lack of response we've had. We have had at most 24 parents and grandparents attend. This is really good stuff. We had quality childcare and we have fed them every week except week one when we had 18 kids.
I really thought we would have 100 people attend this class. The parents who have attended have testified to the benefit of this series. Maybe you didn't know about it. Maybe we did a poor job of advertising. Maybe the time was not conducive. I don't know.
Anyway, I would like to hear from you as to what you would like for us to offer in the way of Discipleship and Bible Study. If we offered more on Parenting, would you be interested? I look forward to hearing from you.
The Graceline
But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. --- 2 Corinthians 4:7 NIV
Once upon a time, a man was walking along the beach when he came upon a cave. As he explored the cave, he found a pile of muddy globules each about the size of a golf ball. They were rather lightweight and brownish in color.
Intrigued by his find, he gathered them in his shirt and continued his walk along the beach. As he walked, he decided to see how far he could throw the balls out into the ocean. Having thrown a dozen or so out to sea, he dropped one. The ball cracked open revealing a precious gemstone inside. Hurriedly cracking open the other balls, he discovered each and every one contained a precious gem of great value. He was ecstatic. However, the joy of his discovery was quickly dispelled by sorrow as he began to imagine the fortune he had unknowingly cast out into the sea.
As God’s children, Christ Jesus is our very life. “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me” (Galatians 2:20 NIV). Our body is the Temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19). Not only does God live in us who trust Him by faith, God has molded each and every one of us into a unique, one-of-a-kind masterpiece of His own design.
“Oh yes, You shaped me first inside, then out; You formed me in my mother's womb. I thank you, High God — You're breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration — what a creation! You know me inside and out, You know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, You watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before You, the days of my life all prepared before I'd even lived one day” (Psalm 139:13-16 MSG).
If God loves us that much, why do many people feel so badly about themselves? I think it’s because most people do not know how much God loves them and how beautiful they are on the inside. The world lauds and praises the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart (1 Samuel 16:7).
Jean Vanier said: “Love is to reveal the beauty of another to themselves.” Do you look for the gem inside of people, or do you inspect and criticize the clay that houses it? Why are we so critical of others? Could it be that it is easier to pull people down to our level by fault-finding than to celebrate the masterpiece God has created in them? When you walk into a room of people, does your presence bring joy and peace, or anxiety and tension? I have a sign in my office that reads: “Everyone brings joy to this office. Some when they enter. And others when they leave.”
We talked this week in our parenting small group about the reason kids act obnoxiously. We came to the conclusion that kids (and we are all kids to God) need a safe place to live. A place where they can be accepted and loved no matter how they act. We all need that kind of place because we all act ugly at times. What makes God so great is that He is our safe place where we can safely hide from the harshness of life.
God is the only One Who loves us for nothing. He needs nothing from us, so He can love us without condition. If we truly understood that God loves us like that, we would have no need to point out one another’s flaws and weaknesses. Instead, we would be celebrating and pointing out one another’s unique beauty, gifts and abilities. God intends for us to be a blessing, not a threat.
As you interact with people this week, look past the body… the clay vessel, if you will, and look for the hidden treasure within. Remind others of the blessing they are to you. Treat everyone you meet as a precious gem created in God’s image. Let’s make this world a better place by pulling out the best in one other. Don’t be like the man on the beach and throw away a fortune.
Remember: We have this treasure in jars of clay. Priceless treasures are often found in cracked pots.
Once upon a time, a man was walking along the beach when he came upon a cave. As he explored the cave, he found a pile of muddy globules each about the size of a golf ball. They were rather lightweight and brownish in color.
Intrigued by his find, he gathered them in his shirt and continued his walk along the beach. As he walked, he decided to see how far he could throw the balls out into the ocean. Having thrown a dozen or so out to sea, he dropped one. The ball cracked open revealing a precious gemstone inside. Hurriedly cracking open the other balls, he discovered each and every one contained a precious gem of great value. He was ecstatic. However, the joy of his discovery was quickly dispelled by sorrow as he began to imagine the fortune he had unknowingly cast out into the sea.
As God’s children, Christ Jesus is our very life. “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me” (Galatians 2:20 NIV). Our body is the Temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19). Not only does God live in us who trust Him by faith, God has molded each and every one of us into a unique, one-of-a-kind masterpiece of His own design.
“Oh yes, You shaped me first inside, then out; You formed me in my mother's womb. I thank you, High God — You're breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration — what a creation! You know me inside and out, You know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, You watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before You, the days of my life all prepared before I'd even lived one day” (Psalm 139:13-16 MSG).
If God loves us that much, why do many people feel so badly about themselves? I think it’s because most people do not know how much God loves them and how beautiful they are on the inside. The world lauds and praises the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart (1 Samuel 16:7).
Jean Vanier said: “Love is to reveal the beauty of another to themselves.” Do you look for the gem inside of people, or do you inspect and criticize the clay that houses it? Why are we so critical of others? Could it be that it is easier to pull people down to our level by fault-finding than to celebrate the masterpiece God has created in them? When you walk into a room of people, does your presence bring joy and peace, or anxiety and tension? I have a sign in my office that reads: “Everyone brings joy to this office. Some when they enter. And others when they leave.”
We talked this week in our parenting small group about the reason kids act obnoxiously. We came to the conclusion that kids (and we are all kids to God) need a safe place to live. A place where they can be accepted and loved no matter how they act. We all need that kind of place because we all act ugly at times. What makes God so great is that He is our safe place where we can safely hide from the harshness of life.
God is the only One Who loves us for nothing. He needs nothing from us, so He can love us without condition. If we truly understood that God loves us like that, we would have no need to point out one another’s flaws and weaknesses. Instead, we would be celebrating and pointing out one another’s unique beauty, gifts and abilities. God intends for us to be a blessing, not a threat.
As you interact with people this week, look past the body… the clay vessel, if you will, and look for the hidden treasure within. Remind others of the blessing they are to you. Treat everyone you meet as a precious gem created in God’s image. Let’s make this world a better place by pulling out the best in one other. Don’t be like the man on the beach and throw away a fortune.
Remember: We have this treasure in jars of clay. Priceless treasures are often found in cracked pots.
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