The Graceline

Do you know how much Jesus loves you? Do you really? I don’t think anybody can comprehend fully how much He loves us.

Ponder with me for a minute. Shame is a primary obstacle to our relationship with God. Guilt is different from shame. Guilt says I DID something wrong. Shame says I AM wrong. Shame leads to hopelessness. Shame is a deep feeling of contamination, uncleanness and yuckiness. Shame causes you to feel like you don’t belong; like you’re not supposed to be here. A feeling that you have to work twice as hard to get ½ as much accomplished. Shame makes you feel like a caterpillar in a butterfly world.

Shame comes when the important people in our lives curse our identity. This brings on a fear of abandonment, of being all alone, and of not being taken care of. Shame comes whenever you have been held accountable and have been made to feel wrong for things beyond your control. Shame is what Adam and Eve experienced in the Garden of Eden when they believed the lie of satan. He told them that God cared nothing for them, and they believed the lie. Mankind has been running from God ever since and hiding behind the fig leaves of hypocritical masks and false pretenses.

We all suffer the effects of shame to some degree, some more than others. When you grow up in a shame-based family (which we all have to some degree), the following unspoken rules are in effect:

1. Always remain in control of all behavior, feelings and circumstances.
2. Always be right and do it right. Never make a mistake.
Perfectionism rules the family, and there is no room for a learning process.
Nothing can be tainted, spoiled, flawed or outside the plan.
3. When rules #1 and #2 fail, and things get out of control, get angry and BLAME
someone (others, God or yourself).
Children are held responsible for the parent’s anger.
4. Deny everyone in the family 5 basic human experiences. It is wrong to:
• FEEL. (It is wrong to feel sad, lonely, fearful, etc.)
• PERCEIVE. (What parents say is right... period!)
• NEED. (Always be self-sufficient. Don’t bother anyone with a need.)
• BELIEVE. (Parents, or other important people, tell you “truth.”)
IMAGINE. (You have no right to imagine anything. A lifestyle of stuffing and denial of every “wrong” experience deep inside is established.
5. Always maintain secrecy regarding anything wrong.
6. Never acknowledge a mistake or make yourself vulnerable to anyone.
7. Don’t trust anyone. Relationships are erratic and unreliable.

Have you been shamed? There are two basic manifestations of a shame-based identity: a feeling of worthlessness, or a need to be independent and self-sufficient.


Worthlessness is manifested in the following ways:
ü Anger when circumstances seem to be out of control.
ü Fear of emotion. Fear of experiencing feeling, or getting out of control.
ü Difficulty saying “NO” to people.
ü Fear of failing. Fear of trying new things.
ü Frequent depression.
ü Compulsive sin or addictive habit.
ü Need to succeed in order to be accepted.

Self-sufficiency is manifested in the following ways:
ü Isolation and difficulty making close friends.
ü Avoidance of getting into a position of need or dependence.
ü Great difficulty in asking for a favor or help.
ü Being a much better “giver” than “receiver.”
ü Being fearful or uncomfortable being part of a small group without being the leader to control the group or withdrawing and not participating at all.
ü Feeling tolerated rather than chosen.
ü Having been the recipient of a gift, feeling the need to repay.

Do you remember the song that goes like this: “When a man loves a woman, she can do no wrong. Turn his back on his best friend if he puts her down?” When you are in love, you never see the faults of your beloved. She is the most beautiful, wonderful, blessed thing in the universe. Don’t you remember what it was like to be in love?

Beloved, as a child of God, you are the BRIDE of Christ. He is crazy in love with you. He only has eyes for you. He loves you so much he laid down His life for you. But you don’t believe that, do you? If you did, the realization of such fantastic love would transform your life and turn you into a butterfly instead of a worm. You have believed the lie of the devil and you’re crawling around in the dust of shame trying to keep from getting stomped. How’s that working for you?

Don’t you think it’s time to start believing the TRUTH? What do have to lose except your shame. Feel the exhilaration of your soul as you listen to the TRUTH:

Hebrews 13:5 AMP--- For He [God] Himself has said, I will not in any way fail you nor give you up nor leave you without support. [I will] not,[I will] not, [I will] not in any degree leave you helpless nor forsake nor let [you] down ( relax My hold on you)! [Assuredly not!]

Jeremiah31:3 MSG--- GOD told them, "I've never quit loving you and never will.
Expect love, love, and more love!

He’s talking about YOU, you know. Can you think of anything more frustrating than to love someone with all your heart, and they just won’t let you love them? It’s true. You can only be loved as much as you allow someone love you, no matter how much they love you.

He’s waiting to love YOU, Beloved. What are you waiting on?